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Friday, 5 October 2012

In pursuit of prince charming

Seeing so many of my friends updating their relationship status while I browse through Facebook, from single to in a relationship, to engagement and to marriage. Some even updated us with a photo (or more) of their new born infant. Of course I do feel happy for them but at the same time, it makes me wonder, how do they know (s)he is the one they want to live with for the next 50, 60 years of their lives?

Yes, I have been into a couple of relationships but none of them lasted. And even when my closer friends asked about them (referring to the ex-bf), I would always (without fail, yes.) answer: 

'Him ah? Good boyfriend but not a good husband.

Er, yea, that was the answer I gave while I was still attached. I don't know but I feel that wasting 20++ years of my life, I have not met any husband-material guy. 

They are either too bad tempered, expenditure > income, too inconsiderate, too immature for my liking, or mundane. All these cons are acceptable as a boyfriend cause I can bear with them for a year or two but if you ask me live with some retards for the rest of my life, I rather remain forever alone. 

However, you realised, I never complain about their appearance. To me, whether a guy is good looking or not, it does not matter. It is his heart and mind that attracts me most. 

Maybe that's why I am still single and unwanted. I do not consider as much previously when I started a relationship because I tell myself, they are just my boyfriends. I will find a better man to marry in the future. 

Which explains the pause now. Cause I am reaching the age where I hold responsibilities to my future, who I date now has a huge possibility to becoming my husband. Eh, this is serious work can. No more fooling around, no more puppy love, no more romantic drama scene, for life is cruel.

Aiya, if you are thinking why the hell am I so desperate, I am not. It's just that I am raging depression hormones tonight and I do not know who to confide, so I am pouring some of my thoughts here. I mean, who does not want to love and be loved?

Although frankly speaking, I believe who we are meant to be with, is (partially) destined since the day we were born. And people like me (who is too demanding and complains too much about how a guy is not good enough) tend to end up being single for the rest of their lives. If that happen one day, I will join the 姑婆村created by my high school friends and live happily ever after. The end. 

I just miss how life was, when everything was so simple.

Was trying to hide my non-glamorous bra strap if you are wondering /blush

Dear October please be good to me 

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